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This sleek turkey body allows me to pass safely through the time rift

Thursday, October 18, 2007 , Posted by Bradd McBrearty at 2:13 PM

For someone who doesn't watch television, I tend to watch a lot of television. Basically, it goes like this: People often ask me, "Hey have you seen show X." And the answer in invariably, "No." Not only because there is no show so far named 'X' but also because even if 'X' were a variable standing for 'Veronica Mars' or 'Hell's Kitchen' I have no more seen those shows than I have seen said 'X.'

Today my friend Erich told me that he had to get his hair cut soon. That's not the story though. I'm getting to that. Slowly. He needed a haircut of such majesty and grace that he was making a special trip to his homeland to have the procedure preformed. (Erich Lives in Santa Monica. He's coming down to San Diego snip snip.) Intrigued, I pressed him for more information. Apparently the haircut is for LA Ink, a statement that to a professed non-TV-watcher made little sense. I envisioned the City of angles transformed to a publicly held company (inc.) which through anthropomorphism, need a haircut. This was not the case. So he asked me if I'd seem Miami Ink. Is Miami finally over the mullet? Don Johnson is gonna be PISSSED.
Cut to the chase- Miami Ink is a TV show about Tattoo artist. LA Ink is its bastard child. Erich is going on the show live to let a reasonably famous artist freehand on his bicep. Take note ladies and gentlemen. This sort of brash action not only takes conections to set up in the first place, but also balls of steel to actually go through with. And a certain amount of disregard for convention. Contempt really.

Which in conclusion is why Erich gets more tail than you or I.

Yeah. But TV. Don't watch it. I DVR all the time. I download entire seasons of shows that come highly recommended to me. But I'm not going to invest the time to be the actual litmus test as to the qualiy of standard broadcast television. When The Office came out I waited. Once season three was complete and the powers that be looked down upon their works and called it good, then and only then did I take an interest. And I watched all three seasons in a week. Mostly from the comfort of my bathtub. With a pulled Achilles tendon. No walkee.

Similar are my stories surrounding Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, Dr. Who, Torchwood, and Threshold.

I've adopted a similar pre-screening policy for discovering new music, restaurants, snowboards, and body-wash. Some may argue that that makes me a follower. No sir! If anything, I'm a poser. I find people who devote their lives to the music scene, and then poll them for suggestions. End result? I have better taste in music than anyone but the hipsters, and I'll take poser over hipster. I quiz my socalite friends about all the poshest new restaurants, tea-houses and up-and-coming dives. Outcome? Even they can't enjoy their clutch new find alone... And so the pattern goes. I guess it all comes down to knowing who to trust, and in what capacity. Consider all of them the kings beef-eaters.

But more on that later. I've gotta go, the new episode of 'The Office' is on.

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