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Achievement = Happiness

Saturday, July 18, 2009 , Posted by Unknown at 6:12 AM

I don't know if that is the case for everyone, but for me, that is the secret of life. When I feel stuck in a rut, I'm down. This can be destructive when it comes to things I can't control. As a result, or perhaps coping mechanism, I've become amazing at ignoring things outside my power. Over the years, after painful breakup after painful breakup I've applied this to my dating and social life. Not on purpose, it's just sort of crept in through cracks in my mental armor. It's easy to look back and see that whenever I've consciously gone about courting a girl I liked, it has never worked out. I spend so much time focused on formulating the perfect setting, atmosphere, mood, etc... that I forget to be myself and just have fun. All the long term relationships I've been in have sort of caught me by surprise. I collect girlfriends the same way I've collected my guy friends, common interests making two lives take the same path. My best guy friends right now are all people I met in college. Same mindset, same career goals, same nerdy senses of humor.
This is all very stream of consciousness because I'm quite tired. Time for the Nightwalkers to rest.
The overarching thought behind this rant is that I've invested an amazing amount of time into social dynamics, without ever evaluating the reward. It's almost as if by studying and improving my social habits, the reward, while larger in quantity, is much lower in quality.
Just some personal introspection.

And here's an update on my latest practice project:


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